In my neck of the woods

In my neck of the woods, where the darkness still reigns I sometimes see a tiny spark.  I don’t know whether it is a firefly, don’t know if it is the hope I desperately need or maybe… just maybe it is you, my beautiful ballerina.  I don’t know how to separate the two, hope from you, my little one. You were my hope and now you have turned into a little angel, leaving me here only with the hope that we will see each other again one day, that I will get the chance to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you.
In my neck of the woods, where the darkness still reigns, the days seem so long and the nights that bring peace are so short.

In my neck of the woods, where the darkness still reigns, the forest is too thick, and the trees branches suffocate me with every breath I try to take … a constant reminder of the fact that you are not here anymore.

In my neck of the woods, where the darkness still reigns, I close my eyes and see the light. I see the light of the flowery field we were suppose to play in, my little princess. Thousands and thousands of colorful flowers, just like your soul, growing beneath the warm light of the love I have for you.
In my neck of the woods, where the darkness still reigns, silence hurts. This deafening silence has replaced baby gooing and cooing, cries and laughter that we had been waiting for and looking forward to for so long.
In my neck of the woods, where the darkness still reigns, every step I take hurts. Every step takes me further away from the future I had dreamed for us, my little princess but I do hope that all these steps will take me towards the future you want for me, a future in which the forest is not so thick anymore, a future in which tears no longer burn my soul, a future in which I can smile when thinking of you while other tiny little baby/toddler wonders run happily around us.
We love you our tiny ballerina, we will always love you!
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In partea mea de padure, unde intunericul inca domneste, vad din cand in cand o mica sclipire. Nu stiu daca e un licurici, nu stiu daca e speranta pe care mi-o doresc cu atata inversunare sau poate … poate esti tu, frumoasa mea balerina. Nu stiu cum sa le despart pe cele doua, speranta, de tine, micuta mea. Tu ai fost speranta mea, iar acum te-ai transformat in ingerasul meu, lasandu-ma aici doar cu speranta ca intr-o zi vom avea sansa sa ne revedem, sa te strang in brate si sa iti spun cat de mult te iubesc.
In partea mea de padure, unde intunericul inca domneste, zilele par foarte lungi, iar noptile care aduc liniste sunt mult prea scurte.
In partea mea de padure, unde intunericul inca domneste, copacii sunt mult mult mult prea desi, iar crengile lor ma sufoca cu fiecare gura de aer pe care incerc sa o trag … un reminder constant a faptului ca tu nu mai esti aici.
In partea mea de padure, unde intunericul inca domneste, inchid ochii si vad lumina. Vad lumina campului cu flori pe care am fi alergat noi, mica mea printesa. Mii si mii de flori colorate ca sufletul tau, crescand sub lumina calda a iubirii pe care ti-o port.
In partea mea de padure, unde intunericul inca domneste, tacerea doare. Tacerea asta asurzitoare a inlocuit in viata noastra gangurelile, plansetele si rasetele copilului pe care l-am asteptat atat de mult si pe care l-am dorit cu atata ardoare.
In partea mea de padure, unde intunericul inca domneste, fiecare pas doare. Fiecare pas ma duce mai departe de viitorul pe care l-am visat impreuna cu tine, micuta printesa. Dar sper ca toti acesti pasi ma vor duce sper un viitor pe care tu il dorest pentru mine, un viitor in care padurea nu mai e asa deasa, un viitor in care lacrimile nu imi mai ard sufletul, un viitor in care voi putea zambi gandindu-ma la tine in timp ce alte minuni de copilasi alearga fericiti in jurul nostru.
Te iubim micuta noastra balerina, te vom iubi mereu!

 

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