Empathy: noun, “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation”
Now, empathy or better yet the lack of it in my life after loss looked a bit different.
Empathy was NOT the silence of the phone that only rang once a day.
Empathy was NOT the “i’m sorry for your loss” cards that i never got or the silence that took over a room whenever I walked in.
Empathy was NOT the “get well” chocolates that never reached us or the time it would have taken our friends to just sit with us, have a cup of tea and just listen.
Empathy was definitely NOT the rude comments like “you are young, you can have more children”, “she’s in a better place”, “God wanted another angel” or any other sentence that starts with “at lest…”. There is no at least in child loss, you would have known that had you bothered to walk two steps in our shoes … But you didn’t because let’s face it, it’s easier for you that way. And that is why today’s world has to look up the word empathy in the dictionary.
Elephants are much better than most of us at this thing… When a mother elephant loses her baby the other elephants stand in a circle around her and allow her all the time she needs to grieve and mourn. They do not hurry her along, or push her to abandon the body. They gently touch her with their trunks as a sign of unwavering support.