Capture your Grief – Day 26. #Whathealsyou

I don’t think we are ever truly healed of the pain and longing that we feel after our children die but there are things that make our days bearable, things that make hope shine again and bring light into our darkness.
There are soooo many things that have helped me, I could never keep track of all of them so I’ll just tell you about the ones that go through my mind at this time.
It all begins with the small things: music, pasta, color, chocolate, drawing, M&M’s, painting, pizza, sleep, ice cream, darkness, chips, photography, macaroons, coloring books, cherry coke, reading, popcorn, meditation… well I guess you figured it out by now… I’m a foodie ๐Ÿ˜€.
All these things helped down the road but there was only one thing that I held on to like I was holding on to dear life and that was LOVE… it has been my salvation through my darkest hour and I have faith that it will forever be the thing that never lets me down.
Love was in my every smile ever since I first laid eyes on my husband, It was in my every heartbeat after I became pregnant and in every tear after her heart stopped beating.
Love is in his every embrace as he rocks me while I weep, in his every touch and every good morning kiss, love is in every glance that we share, in every dance we dance, in every word he whispers in my ear when he says “It might be us against the world but we have each other and that’s what’s important”.
My love for him is my choice to march on everyday because I know he will never let go of my hand no matter the pain.
My love for my princesses is in my heart’s choice to keep beating for me and for them… my heart beats for three… I wonder if that means I get a longer life ๐Ÿ˜€
Love has brought this pain, longing and heartache would never exist without love, but it is also the only thing capable of healing and I will choose it every day of my life.

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